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Archive for the ‘Art’ Category

It took me a while to parse the poetry of the urban landscape. As a devoted scholar of the free verse of a frost-tipped field, the assonance of the stream and the wind, and the disintegrating dialect of ripe-smelling woods, I initially found myself a dull-eyed, pale-cheeked, bruised-souled colonial castaway in the brutalist thickets of [...]

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10,000 feet up, I nestled, placid in the lap of beauty. Anticipating American Airlines’ ‘entertainment’ on a recent trip to Vegas (waterboarding has nothing on Aliens in the Attic, on loop), I pre-downloaded an emergency iPlayer kit, and duly found soothing visual balm in Matthew Collings’s BBC2 documentary What Is Beauty? amidst the epic transatlantic [...]

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I sometimes wonder if I suffer from apophenia (no, it’s got nothing to do with the flaky nails). The tendency to make patterns and connections between random objects and ideas sits on a tightrope between instinctively narrative-forming creativity and gob-foaming insanity, and I totter between the two.
Social media doesn’t help. As someone once said, blogging [...]

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Back in the early days of Blonde bloggery, I promised that I’d never be the sort of Juicy-wearing, Krispy-eating postmistress who diarised daily about her cats.
Of course, I didn’t say anything about cardboard cats.
It’s a little worrying that, of the two parcels that have plopped into my postbox this week, I’m most excited about my [...]

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I’m strewn across the towel rail, starkers. Arms outstretched, one knee arched and tummy sucked in for maximum ribbage. Sodden hair turned from Blonde to dark and suitably rattailed. Eyes closed, head lolled onto chest, profoundly piteous expression of transcendent pain.
Footsteps. Door. Laden pause. Faintest of sighs. Electric toothbrush whirr.
One eye opens. One hand creeps [...]

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I know I’m a product of Limeyland, through and through. The quivering, purse-lipped, rose-pink prejudices and predelictions of Albion striate my Dover-chalk-white flesh like a stick of Blackpool rock. First thing in the morning, I have a nice mug of builders and a Garibaldi. Last thing at night, I pray to Shakespeare before drifting asleep [...]

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Watching Manuel Guillén play Elgar’s Serenade for Strings in E Minor Op.20 is like watching Danny DeVito paint a Picasso. Jiggling jowled, prodigally paunched and erratically tonsured, this mini Madrilenian leads the silkily black-clad young string players of La Camerata de Madrid like a mischievous Satyr shepherding Manaeds through a celebratory dance. Elegant, energetic, and edged [...]

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Artemis has always been my classical goddess of choice. Haughty huntress and evasive hauntress of the cypress groves, her feral forest spirit surpasses her Mediterranean origins to chime with our earthy native lore of Arthurian chivalry, forest sorcery and celtic myth. Her enigmatic chastity puts both Athena’s stiff, urban erudition and Aphrodite’s pink-tipped, pearlescent petulance [...]

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We’re all creatures of habit. We are two sugars. We are the window seat on the bus. We are frayed fingernails and a tiny tilt of the head, sex on top and M&S boy shorts down below, The Wire on Wednesdays and medium rare, cobbled into a composite and wrapped in a distinctive pelt. Coasting [...]

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A girl can contract many bad things during a year at drama school, and one of the worst is Monologomania. It makes your sense of cohesion fall off. 

When you’ve spent weeks  in the quest for that most elusive grail, The Little-Known Well-Written Female Soliloquy, it becomes almost impossible not to dismember every play that you [...]

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